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Atalanta Pendragonne
atalantapendrag
14 May 2005 @ 07:48 pm
50 Things Appendix I  
50 Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts

Appendix A: Addenda and Errata

Appendix B

Appendix C: 50 Things Kleenexwoman, 12th level chaotic neutral mage, is not allowed to do at Hogwarts


Appendix D

Appendix E: 101 things haldirsbitch is not allowed to do at Hogwarts

Appendix F

Appendix G: Yet More Errata and Even More Addenda

Appendix H: Still more Errata, Yet more Addenda

ETA:Appendix J




Errata-

Professor Sprout is not a Gardnerian.

Must not offer Alastor Moody the Eye of Vecna.

I am not to cut my toenail in the common room.

-or anyone else's.






carnivorusthing's addena-


Professor Snape is not Elrond, and he does not like to be asked when his council concerning the "One Ring, to rule them all!" will be held.

The Matrix does not have Professor McGonagall.

- It doesn't have any of the faculty.

- Nor the students.

I will not taunt Professor Flitwick by singing "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins".

I will not sing One Winged Angel, replacing Sephiroth with Severus.

-Especially not around Professor Snape.

- Even if the faculty start to sing it when he comes into a room.







Jim's addenda-

I cannot Impress a Hungarian Horntail.

- Not even if I feed it till it sleeps.

- Especialy not if I feed it first years.

I will not refer to Gryffindors as 'Red Shirted Ensigns'.

- Nor will I suggest that their only purpose is as Cannon Fodder/Alien Bait.

I will not try and start 'Naked Thursdays' in the Common Room.

- Not even if I buy a 'foosball' table.

I am not allowed to wear all my housemates robes at the same time.

- Especially not if I insist on going commando.

I do not have a 'Stone of Recall' that will get me out of any situation.

- That includes detention.

I do not own any items that confer Immunity:Death Magic.

- Not even if I stole it off Harry Potter.

- I do not own an Immunity:Detention item either.

I will not tell first years that Terry Prattchet books are historical non-fiction.

- I may not hide them in the non-fiction sections of the library either.

- Nor will I tell tham that the Unseen University is Hogwart's sister school in America. Or anywhere else.

I am not to refer to Crabbe and Goyle as having 'the brains of a stuffed iguana'.

- Even if they ask 'what's an iguana?'.

Calling Ron 'Dave' the entire time is not funny.

- Even if everyone else starts doing it too.

I am not allowed to say "I have an IQ of 6000, that's the same as 6000 Hufflepuffs".

- Even if I'm a Ravenclaw.

I cannot try to breed a sentient life form out of my cat.

- Not even if I claim it's a Care of Magical Creatures project.

- Especially not if I want to use Hermoine or McGonagall as breeding stock.

I am not allowed to refer to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named as 'Moldimort'.

- Or a Sith Lord.

Sending Draco K-Y jelly and labeling it 'meet me in the astronomy tower, Harry' is not funny.

- Nor is sending it to Harry and labeling it from Draco.

- I am not allowed to send anyone K-Y jelly.





Alara Moonrunner's addenda-



I will not add brandy or any other spirits to the wolf's bane, Veratiserum or any other drinkable potion.

- I will not feed said potion(s) to any of the Hogwarts staff though feeding the DE's and Voldemort would be fun.

- Ditto for the students.

I will not slip Remus the doctored wolf's bane and leave a timed camera out.

- I will also run for my life if he finds out I got him drunk in wolf form.

- Ditto for the pictures, but then it might not matter...

I will not tell the first years that Parseltongue is the language you speak during sex.

I will not go skyclad and tell the first years that this is part of the dress code.

I will not steal Harry and Draco's clothes after knocking them unconcious and locking them in a closet.

- Even if I love the thought of them being together.

- I will not use my camera in said closet.

- I will not slip a lust/love potion to the boys.

- Same goes for Harry and almost any other male.











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( 16 comments — Post a new comment )
[info]danii_ellie on May 15th, 2005 01:02 am (UTC)
I will not tell the first years that Parseltongue is the language you speak during sex.
Lmao, that one cracked me up!
Atalanta Pendragonne[info]atalantapendrag on May 15th, 2005 01:08 am (UTC)
People certainly have sent in some great lines!
Alara Moonrunner[info]aetas_lupus on May 15th, 2005 01:16 am (UTC)
Glad to see that i've amused you.
Jeza[info]sena7 on May 15th, 2005 01:46 am (UTC)
any time you can mix red dwarf and harry potter you know you're evil! But the good kind of evil.

Atalanta Pendragonne[info]atalantapendrag on May 15th, 2005 01:52 am (UTC)
I think most of the submissions I've gotten fall firmly into the "good kind of evil" category.
octal[info]waywardoctagon on May 27th, 2005 06:52 pm (UTC)
Eighth list, Ninth list, Tenth list. I have the eleventh list and part of the twelfth list(Which takes care of all the addenda I had on my computer. If this works properly I'll have access to the rest, offline, in a little while.) but no titles for them. I've run out of ideas for titles. Heeeelllllp! Once I get to the sixteenth one I can call it 'The Hex List' but I have no idea about eleven through fifteen and after sixteen. If you like I could do them without titles and let you put them on, and give you the specs I've been using for fonts etc. (Again, sorry about this taking so long, because I am lame"busy" and haven't been able to properly connect in two weeks.)
Atalanta Pendragonne[info]atalantapendrag on May 27th, 2005 07:00 pm (UTC)
OOooo, yay! I'll be able to have more schwag up with the next appendix! You rock :)
octal[info]waywardoctagon on May 27th, 2005 07:10 pm (UTC)
You have to be the most patient person I've ever met. ^^; What about titles, though?
Atalanta Pendragonne[info]atalantapendrag on May 27th, 2005 07:14 pm (UTC)
Hey, it's not like either of us is getting any money for it, right? There's no timeline, it's just for fun.

I don't think I'm going to be able to come up with tons of inventive list titles either. Maybe "God Emperor Of Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts" and "Ancient Ninja Secrets Of Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts"? Yeah, I'm a straight-up geek *g*
octal[info]waywardoctagon on May 27th, 2005 07:17 pm (UTC)
I'll do those.:P I think I'll see about getting ideas from books... try the 'open a book at random and see if anything fits' thing. Or, ooo, I bet I could do a title in Klingon.
Cimorene: the truth shall make ye...[info]minkhollow on May 28th, 2005 10:55 pm (UTC)
The Astronomy Tower is not the Dark Tower. Nor are any of the others.

I will not try to convince non-Muggleborn students that Monty Python was some random Parselmouth.

Death Eaters are not called Death Eaters because they serve it as a meal (or, death is not in fact what's for dinner).

The Forbidden Forest is not the Pointless Forest.

My school trunk is not made of sapient pearwood, and I cannot sic it on people I don't like.

Jumping up on a table during dinner and singing "La Vie Boheme" is more likely to confuse my enemies than chase them out of the Great Hall. Besides, I probably won't have anyone else join in, which takes some of the fun out of it.

I will not, when the end of the year rolls around, attempt to convince the first-years they owe me a year's worth of rent if they want to stay in the dorm next year.
Atalanta Pendragonne[info]atalantapendrag on May 28th, 2005 11:23 pm (UTC)
Delightful! Looks like Appendix J is almost ready to post. What name would you like to be credited under?
Cimorene: destiny! destiny![info]minkhollow on May 28th, 2005 11:30 pm (UTC)
'minkhollow' will suffice. This is great fun. XD
Atalanta Pendragonne[info]atalantapendrag on May 29th, 2005 12:38 am (UTC)
...and Appendix J is up.
Eldalossë Súrilenda, the Snow Elf Sphynx[info]snowelf on June 2nd, 2005 04:31 pm (UTC)
Must not offer Alastor Moody the Eye of Vecna

*falls over laughing*
(Anonymous) on December 23rd, 2007 05:36 am (UTC)
Calling Ron 'Dave' the entire time is not funny.


Lol this one made me laugh seeing as i do this to this one bloke in my class all the time. His name is Phil and i keep insisting that its matt. Without even thinking it i call him matt. poor boy. lol Awesome tho, these are halarious.