It's not just dramatic, it's FUCKING DRAMATIC!

For those of you who know baby stuff

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 01:30:10 GMT

Noelle's larva is teething already! Noelle and Jimi are kind of at a loss. Anyone got any advice on soothing teething babies?

Wow, I'm Auntie Lanta all right!

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 17:45:40 GMT

Another all-nighter at Noelle and Jimi's. Much housework being done. I held the baby for, seriously, two and a half hours while they were doing some hardcore cleaning. It was interesting and kinda weird. Jimi took over when it was diaper change and burping time so it was fine by me. Went with Noelle to her appointment with her new primary care physician. The guy sounds like a real asshole, poor Noelle. From what she told me, if I'd been in the exam room with her I'd have gone off on him. Jimi's had his spate of ill-fortune as well, he dropped his laptop and broke the screen. Sucky as hell, he spent a bunch of time rigging it up to a monitor so it'd be useable. Thankfully they had a spare!

Summertime and hot as hell so whenever I am not being social (online or off) I am usually sleeping. As noted in my recent entries, I have been hanging out with Noelle a lot, with and without her boyfriend Jimi and usually with their baby, who is fun to snuggle when he is happy and reinforces my life choices when he cries. Haven't hung with doombuggie for a bit, hopefully that will change soon. An Epoch run would be nice, as long as it is late enough at night that it is cooled off!

I don't remember if I mentioned, Noelle cut the mats out of Anya's hair for me while I held her down. The trimmed look suits her, actually. She looks so much smaller! And it has got to be cooler.

Oh! Plans are afoot for rehd_fawx to visit! I am looking very much forward to this. Bits of Austin will be seen. It will be nice.

I'm doomed

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 17:59:40 GMT

Horrified realization last night.

I can recognize Nathaniel crying as opposed to "random crying baby".

I'm Auntie Lanta all right.

Noelle got me out of the house last night and we went for Mexican food, which was a good thing since I hadn't eaten for like 36 hours and was having trouble getting up the enthusiasm to eat anything that was in the house. But fajitas, yum! And when we stopped into Fry's so she could tell her brother something, we went to look at cordless phones for me and found a nice GE model that usually goes for $30 on sale for $10. Score! But. THE CASHIER ASKED IF I WAS NOELLE'S MOM. Holy fucking crap. I'm only 12 years older than she is.

After that, a friend of hers in Del Valle needed a ride to the store so we headed that way and OMG. One of the friend's cats (a sweet and pretty black and white kitty that was either a Manx or a Japanese Bobtail) had kittens! Tiny kittens. Eyes barely open. They were both black and white, one had a regular tail and the other a bobbed one. They made little meeping sounds and Mama Kitty was all attentive and cuddled them, and I saw one nurse for a little bit and finally got to see that kneading thing it its true context! Oh, my heart just melted. I'd never seen such wee kittens in person. I gave Mama Kitty some pets, but didn't try to touch the babies. One of Noelle's friend's other cats was super-affectionate, and I got some cuddles and kisses, which is always wonderful, and friend's roomate was watching Warehouse 13, which both Noelle and I found interesting enough in the few minutes we caught that we intend to scope it out later.

The WalMart we went to was a real ghetto one. I wasn't feeing well (cramps, and my sleep patterns had been screwy the past few days) and the just ARRRGGGHHness of scummy WalMart had me really on edge. Noelle got to see me glare at a two year old (he was touching my soda!) which amused her. She also showed far more forebearance than I would have when the people behind us went from "awwww"ing over Nathaniel to touching his feet and moving his bottle. I would have fucking flipped my shit.

When we dropped Noelle's friend off and went in so Noelle could change baby's diaper and feed him some more, roommate was watching Doctor Who (the most recent Christmas special) so I had something to watch while babytending was happening. Roomie and I chatted about Doctor Who a little but not much since this was the first time he'd seen the Christmas Special.

Ok, gonna nap a little more... a trip to Sekret October is supposed to happen later.

Auntie Lanta needs help!

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:00:23 GMT

I certainly don't have the budget or inclination to shower Nathaniel with gifts, but I'd like to get him one especially cute thing to wear. My sort of especially cute, which fortunately will meet Noelle and Jimi's approval. So I've been poking around, mostly on eBay and Etsy. But I am indecisive and was hoping the lovely lot of you on my flist might have advice about which would be the best new addition to the larva's wardrobe.

Gothic Skull Faced Pant With Leather & Chains Pros: Noelle likes them, by the time they fit him it will be pants weather. Cons: He'll probably be crawling before he outgrows them. There's only a tiny bit of chain, but it could concievably get snagged on something.

SKULL AND CROSSBONES ONESIE Pros: Good price, low shipping. Cons: Compared to the other stuff I'm looking at, sort of plain. Won't fit him for a while, and it might not be onesie weather when it does.

Littleoneshoes Soft Sole Baby Kids Shoes Pros: They're baby shoes with skulls on them. BABY SHOES WITH SKULLS ON THEM. Cons: The seller is in Canada.

Gothic Skull Bib Pros: Freaking adorable. Will be practical once he's on solids. Con: They won't be able to take him out wearing it, so it won't get shown off much.

Crawler Covers Baby Toddler Leg Warmers Pros: Will be awesome once he starts crawling. Might extent the practical wearability of onesies a little later in the year. Cons: They might just slip off of him all the time.

Swashbluckling Skull fleece baby/toddler/children's hat Pros: Really, how long can you get away with dressing your kid up in one of these? Noelle thinks it's adorable. COns: Not even remotely practical.

Skully Bandana/Red Shoesies Pros: Once more: BABY SHOES WITH SKULLS. Cons: I thought the other ones were a little cuter, although these cost less and shipping is a lot less.

Black Skull and Crossbones Baby T Shirt"> Pros: I like the distressed look. Cons: By the time it fits him, it might not be warm enough.

The Young Ones - Onesie Pros: It's a goddamn Young Ones onesie! Cons: Not sure if Jimi or Noelle are Young Ones fans (gasp!). Shipping cost seems inflated.

Level 1 Human Baby Creeper Pros: Jimi plays WoW. Cons: Noelle doesn't. Plus it's pricier than most of the ones I've been looking at.

So, what do you guys think? How shall I snazz up Little Man's wardrobe?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 21:21:18 GMT

I've been up for over 24 hours. I've taken 60mg of Valium (don't be concerned by that dose, anyone, I've been on benzos for ten years and have a decent tolerance) and I am still awake. I am no little bit WTFing. But, hey. I'm browsing eBay for punk/goth baby clothes (I got outbid on the mot darling little shoes with skulls on the toes and a skull pattern on the soles) and cute chain wallets (I am getting Noelle a chain wallet for a birthday present, and we are going to find the Just Right One For Her).

I'll probably try an i-Doser to put me out soon, but I'm trying to get hold of Noelle to ask if she or Jimi likes The Clash (I saw a cute Clash onesie).

Awwwww!

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 19:34:03 GMT

Flogging Molly Onesie!

I am kind of thinking that Nathaniel needs a giftie from his Auntie Lanta, but it's a bit steep pricewise.

flop

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:04:39 GMT

Staying up all night with Noelle (and Jimi, in this case, since he had the night off) is a lot of fun. Noelle and I click on a lot of levels. Jimi and I are starting to click on some other levels (mainly geeky ones). As for the baby, well, this is how I explained it to Noelle. Kids are like dogs. Well-behaved dogs can be awesome. I'm not a dog person, I don't automatically go "oooo" over every dog I see, but some are damn cute and I can certainly have fun playing with a friend's dog without wanting my own puppy. A measure of Noelle's awesome is that she got and liked the analogy. And I held the baby for a bit. It was neat holding a peacefully sleeping infant.

Valium and sleep now.

Daaaaaaamn

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 11:30:26 GMT

Still at Noelle's. Noelle and Jimi are having a Heavy Discussion so I am in the bedroom, to give them privacy. Hey, got the internet in here, s'all good. 4chan is down so I am browsing 420chan and god damn. I have nothing against recreational pharmaceuticals but some of the posters there are just out of control. There is a thread on the opiates board asking if they could only choose one, sex or opiates, for the rest of their lives which would they choose, and only one person chose sex.

Is it any wonder that heroin is on the list of things I would never, ever try?

At Noelle's place

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 03:38:36 GMT

It worked out! I got my barbecue fix, and was able to treat Noelle instead of wasting the money on delivery fees. Plus it was Rudy's, which has this creamed corn that is flat out godly. I mean, this creamed corn is heavenly. The baby got a little of the creamy part to lick off of Noelle's finger. It was sort of like that YouTube video of a cat eating corn. Only it was a baby and a finger.

I'm over here keeping her company right now, knocking back Wild Cherry Pepsi because I missed my afternoon nap. Cleaning is being done.

Feminine TMI

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 22:02:16 GMT

Thanks to my screwed-up hormones and the Risperdal, I haven't had a period since like September. So about a week and a half ago my body decided to get back at me for that. Blood, cramps, all that. Blah blah blah, I had pads and tampons, I dosed with Vico for the cramps (if nothing else, I bless I-Doser for that!), and it got lighter and I figured it was just about over.

GUESS AGAIN.

I forgot that little trick my body pulls. Today I am bleeding a lot, and the only tampons I have are the 'slender' ones. They are just not cutting it. I have plans to get together with Noelle tonight and I will have to beg a trip to Walgreens so I can get some of the OMG THICK ARE YOU SURE THOSE AREN'T DILDOS tampons and pads that rival her kid's diapers in size. Or maybe I'll just borrow a few diapers.

Yeah, my body is getting me back for escaping periods for so long. It's not happy. And it's making sure that I'm not, either.

I-Doser - Hand of God

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:57:43 GMT

This is one of their "Premium" doses.

The description - Hand of God / Premium (Unexplainable) / 30 Minutes / A dose that has been a lifetime achievement for I-Doser.com, and only held internal to I-Doser Labs for a very good reason: It isnâ€™t meant for public consumption because it is considered just too powerful. Itâ€™s like the Holy One reaches from the sky, as you lay with closed eyes, and shows you the universe, everything, infinity. Only 5 people have ever witnessed the power of this dose, and it was put away in the I-Doser vault for fear of release. Fluttering eyelids, great and almost supernatural clairvoyance, rings of light and great insight, but all this comes with a price. It could also bring fear, an unknowing realization of self, and a breakdown of all senses. Weeping, fear, anger: you need to realize with such insight could come bad consequences.

This one sells for two hundred fucking dollars.

If I had bought it, I would have been pissed.

Started out with an odd vibrating sensation down the center of my torso. Then an odd drawing sensation, as if I were trying to float from the head up against resistance, followed by a sinking sensation, as if into a very soft featherbed. Faint numbness in my legs. Later, a strong heaviness in my arms, feeling as if they were resting on thick foam, and a potent floating sensation.

If it's the Hand of God, it's a good-natured but very minor deity.

I-Doser - AntiSad

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:32:40 GMT

One that's supposed to affect mood, rather than emulate a drug.

I was feeling kind of shitty so I gave this one a shot. Very little in the way of physical sensation, none of the heaviness or floatiness of most of the other doses until the very end, when I felt some minor heaviness in my hands. Some relief from circling thoughts (minor frustrations not seeming so horrible). Some anxiety at 70%, but that passed. Oddly, some salivation and a little nausea. Right now my mood is improved but I am a bit headachey. I'm headache-prone anyway so this may be unrelated.

I-Doser reports

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 11:55:49 GMT

Inhalant - I couldn't listen to this all the way through. Not because I was having nasty effects, but because it just sounded so awful! About a third of the way through, the normal humming-buzzing-occasional clicks gave way to the most obnoxious discord. I had to shut it off.

Demerol - plugged it in, fell asleep for 12 hours. May or may not be connected, what with my recent somnolence.

And I am not sure if I mentioned this on my LJ yet (I know I told Noelle). It's not just the appeal of a safe, easily-obtained, legal high that draws me to I-Doser. It's the sheer science-fictiony coolness of getting high off of sound!

Craving

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 23:24:52 GMT

I want barbecue so much. I'm debating delivery, but it would probably make more sense to see if I could get Noelle to take me and spend what I would have spent on delivery charges on treating her to some.

Mmmm, Rudy's creamed corn...

More I-Doser

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 13:43:21 GMT

This one isn't meant to emulate a specific drug. The description of White Crosses:

"White Crosses / Recreational (VERY STRONG) / 30 Minutes / White Crosses is a strange one. When the team that invented this dose showed it at our monthy dose meeting, it was greeted with a bunch of confused faces. Describe it, we said. OK. White Crosses is a simple stimulant that brings a sense of euphoria, openness, and intellectual expansion. There can be a mild psychedelic component as the new user feels they see the world a little differently. The sensation of mind-expansion and openness quickly fade after the first few uses and physical and mental stimulation dominate the experiential effects. It is a hybrid designer dose for experienced users. Fine. When we put on the headphones, and White Crosses finished, we couldn't believe it. This underground bastard-dose that has been talked about in the halls of I-Doser Labs turned out to blow the minds of everyone who tried it. THAT says a lot for White Crosses."

My experience - for a long time there was no effect. Eventually I had a sensation of floating above my body, which was enjoyable. There was also a weird feeling like something hard and warm was pressing on the bottom of my left foot. All my little aches and pains seemed worse, not excruciating but noticeably more stiff and sore.

So far, the effects of I-Doser files on me have been mild but definite. An argument against it being pure placebo is the disparity of effect between the dose and my actual experience with some of the drugs in question (nitrous, morphine, and Vicodin). Especially noteworthy is the Vicodin; the I-Doser file has proven more potent on me than the real thing! I'm bound to lose interest eventually but for now it is a pleasant diversion.

Latest I-Doser test

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 10:30:08 GMT

This was my first time trying a dose of something I wouldn't touch in a million years in the flesh.

Effects were about like the Opium dose, maybe a tad more intense. Extreme sensation of heaviness in the limbs, a feeling sort of like a swelling aura. I conked out hard after, but that may not be because of the dose.

This afternoon's I-Doser experiment

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:58:20 GMT

This one is labeled as "moderate" so I was expecting a mild effect, or even unnoticeable. Instead it was one of the stronger effects I've had from a Dose. There was a faint sensation of warmth, then a sort of feeling of expansion, as if my aura were swelling. Then I had a heaviness in my limbs, similar to but far stronger than the sensation I had with Morphine and Vico. I was actually surprised when I was able to move my hand to scratch my nose. Interesting.

Mmmmm

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:53:30 GMT

I love my new body pillow. As I told hcolleen, it's like hugging someone who doesn't have any bones.

Ahhhhh, my jellyfish lovah!

I-Doser again

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:52:29 GMT

Tried this one for doombuggie, for the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas connotations. After a few minutes I had a mild sensation of foreboding. Later I felt like my head was expanding (odd but not unpleasant). There was a slight out-of-body feeling, as if I were floating above myself. Then I fell asleep.

Another I-Doser report

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 17:22:21 GMT

Just tried Vico (their version of Vicodin). I had a cat crawling on me, which I worried might interfere with it. This was perhaps the most effective dose so far. The sounds did a pretty effective job of driving extraneous thoughts out of my head. I began to relax in minutes. I felt a heaviness similar to when I tried their Morphine, a feeling almost like being paralyzed but that I could break if I tried. The cramps I took it for are not bothering me. I feel very relaxed still. This is actually a more pleasant feeling for me than taking actual Vicodin.

Unrelatedly, thanks to a story teh_fawx told me about her roommates using pulled pork for stirfry and having it come out nasty, I am now craving barbecue.

More on yesterday

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 14:02:32 GMT

Wow, I collapsed hardcore when I got home. Pretty much slept from 3ish until 7 am, with a brief bout of awakeness around 10pm.

At the trift store, while looking through baby clothes, we saw a crotchless onesie. Well, is it still a onesie if it has long sleeves and legs? Whatever, it was crotchless. It was a deeply wrong garment.

It amazes me how important the genderedness of baby clothes is to Noelle. Everything has to be boyish and even the slightest thing that could be interpreted as girly is apparently very bad. I never thought she would be like that.

Anyway.

The pictures were taken at Noelle's. My place is actually cleaner! And yes, those are Rock Band controllers on the wall.

This shows off the neck detail better.

The leggings were $6 at Target, the tunic was $14 at WalMart, so it is a $20 outfit. Not bad!

flop

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 18:25:19 GMT

As awesome as hanging out with Noelle is, I am so goddamned glad to be alone and able to loll naked in front of the a/c.

I pretty much struck out at the thrift store, but Noelle found two cute tops for herself and an assload of baby clothes. After that I had a milkshake from Amy's, yum. And when she dropped me off, Noelle helped me with Anya, trimming the mats from her fur while I held her. Anya was a very good girl, only squirmed a little, didn't yowl or try to bite or scratch, didn't immediately run into hiding when we let her up. I'm so proud of her! She looks pretty funny right now, though.

Pictures of my cute leggings and tunic outfit to come later, when I feel less like a spit-roasted carcass.

Stuff

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:43:20 GMT

Hanging out w/ Noelle again, heh. When we hang out it always turns into all-nighters. I was smart and brought my meds this time. We did a lot of shopping. Yesterday afternoon/evening we hit Target (where I got some black leggings and a body pillow) and a thrift store (where I got a red tshirt, and we will be going back today because they are having a 50% off sale). Then late at night we went to WalMart, where I got a really cute black tunic. Leggings + tunic = cute as hell. I might be able to get Noelle to take a pic later. Her baby is, well, being a baby. She's all excited right now because he's reaching out to play with a hanging toy. She's calling both grandmas. I guess that is a landmark? Enh, baby stuff.

French Roast - I haven't tried it, but Noelle has. No effect, but she was sitting up and smoking a cigarette while listening. rehd_fawx reports that it worked wonderfully for her.

A-Bomb - Supposed to be a trip designed to make the most of the capabilities of binaural sound. Some feeling of physical distortion (body parts seeming to grow or shrink) and the sort of ache in my jaw that I associate with the start of an LSD trip, but not much else. I was restless while listening to this. I was also sitting up and somewhat distracted at the time and will try again when I can focus properly.

Oh, and I don't think I reported on Orgasm. Definite tingle, but not the promised climax.

I-Doser stuff

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 16:14:04 GMT

PeyoteQH - I was going to try AcidQH, but I was foiled by DRM. The QH series are about 10 minutes long but supposed to give the full experience. I've never tried peyote, so I have no basis for comparison. The audio on this one seemed more intense, I am not sure if that is a feature of it being a QH. I felt more restless during this one than I had during the others. One of my cats jumped on me partway through, which may have interfered with the dose. Effects: a sort of vibrating in my teeth, the weird sensation that I might be about to get a nosebleed, a little light-headedness. Not impressive.

Experimenting

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:19:29 GMT

So, last night (or, properly, the wee hours of this morning) I started experimenting with I-Doser. It's a line of audio files, binaural programs meant to put your brainwaves into specific states of mind, emotions or simulations of the effects of various drugs. I'm skeptical but vaguely optimistic.

Nitrous - the first one I tried, because I know what nitrous feels like, and because it was a fairly short dose (10 minutes, most are 30 mins). Didn't feel much like nitrous, but there was a definite effect. I could feel my body relaxing of its own accord, my chest felt loose, and there was a tingling in the soles of my feet. Also, I had no trouble lying still and listening to humming and staticky clicks for 10 minutes, which is unlike me.

Lucid - meant to cause lucid dreams. I didnt have a lucid dream, but I did have a relevant dream about going to a thrift store when I do, in fact, have plans to go thrifting with Noelle today.

Morphine - again, not much like my experience with morphine, but a noticeable effect. I felt very heavy, as if melting into the bed. No pain relief; I was having pretty bad cramps and they didn't fade. Once more, I had no difficulty staying still and just listening to the dose, this time a full half hour.

QuickHappy - just tried this one. It is indeed quick, five minutes. Felt that buzzing in the soles of my feet again. I am, in fact, feeling pretty good, but I was already in a decent mood. I'll have to try it when I'm in a shitty mood.

Summation - interesting and I'll probably play around with it some more, but not life-altering.

It's not just dramatic, it's FUCKING DRAMATIC!

For those of you who know baby stuff

Wow, I'm Auntie Lanta all right!

I'm doomed

Auntie Lanta needs help!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Awwwww!

*flop*

Daaaaaaamn

At Noelle's place

Feminine TMI

I-Doser - Hand of God

I-Doser - AntiSad

I-Doser reports

Craving

More I-Doser

Latest I-Doser test

This afternoon's I-Doser experiment

Mmmmm

I-Doser again

Another I-Doser report

More on yesterday

*flop*

Stuff

I-Doser stuff

Experimenting

flop

flop