Everything I Need to Know I Learned at hogwarts_hocus
Slytherins do it in screened comments.
Hufflepuffs do it secretly.
Gryffindors don't do it at all. They're too busy flying.
When it comes to hotties, men are from Slytherin, women are from Hufflepuff.
The warmth of the welcome from your `verse-mates is inversely proportionate to the size of your fandom.
Just because someone killed you doesn't mean you can't be civil.
Almost anyone can be talked into Quidditch or Karaoke.
Don't piss off love gods.
Or anyone with more power than you.
It's possible to piss off everyone if you try hard enough.
If you bear an Eerie Resemblance to another student, you are unlikely to be squibbed.
Your likelihood of being squibbed is in direct proportion to the amount of people with new Squibweapons, and in inverse proportion to your grammatical skills.
All the Really Scary ones are in Hufflepuff.
Parmesan is the official cheese of Slytherin.
You do not want an entomology lesson. You do not want to know why.
Lab partners do not make good sex partners.
Don't piss off the Seeker.
Ravenclaws aren't brilliant. They just drink so much that nobody ever understands what they're saying.
Every male has daddy issues.
There is a god of knitting. And his name is Cthulhu.
Stereotypes no longer apply to the four Houses. Being PC is in.
Furbies have ultimate power.
Never trust the ones who're happy to meet you. They want to kill you, sleep with you, or are desperately annoying.
Eros fanart will contain two unhappy mass-murderers.
Note: it's the slender ones you gotta look out for.
The original Slytherin demon is very territorial. Placate him with red wine and don't mention alternative universes to him.
The Antichrist is blond, and the nicest guy in school.
Gryffindor Tower is overcompensation.
There is only one straight, attractive male in Hogwarts. And he wears spandex.
If you want to work at Hogwarts, sadistic torture is a career option.
No matter how much they snark, 90% of Fandom_Wank wants to apply.
Your Sorting could be a lot worse.
And because I'm goofy like that... T-Shirts and mugs and shit. Cuz it's free for me to set up, and they're all at CafePress base price. Lotta different t-shirt styles, and thanks to the lovely waywardoctagon (designer of the SquibHammer), there will soon be black t-shirts too. And probably more other goodies because it's a fun way to waste time.